A pensioner on a mobility scooter ran over a slug, highlighting the increase of dangerous driving in Camberwell. Nobody knows the exact time the hit and run occurred and it is unlikely forensic scientists are willing to use their considerable resources to bring the criminal to justice a la CSI. However, wheel marks before and after the crime scene are a telltale sign that the geriatric hoon made no attempt to brake before the crime was committed.
“Sometimes it is difficult to see the little buggers crossing over paths when it gets dark,” said a fellow mobile scooter rider who belongs to a Specsavers loyalty scheme.
Unfortunately the family of the deceased is unable to be contacted as nobody knows where they live. There was no identification on the victim and due to the total obliteration of the body; not even dental records can be used to find out his name or what rock he crawled out underneath from.