In a scourge that threatens to ruin the aesthetic beauty of Camberwell, people are not returning their shopping trolleys and leaving them in suburban streets not far from the shopping district.
It is not known what is causing people to do this but the trend is spreading faster than the Zika virus. Not enough that graffiti artists are turning this area into a ghetto, red plastic and metal trolleys litter the streets making the people who live here scratch their heads and wonder what the world is coming to.
“I always return my trolley,” says Phil, a Palace Hotel regular who regularly walks home in a drunken stupor, “I tripped over one and fell ass over tit.”
Target and Woolworths are the businesses that are suffering the most because they are the only businesses big enough to warrant having trolleys. There is of course, Coles but that is hidden away in The Well a shopping mall that only serves Camberwell’s underclasses.