Pensioners suffering from Passworditis

A new malady is hitting the older generation of Camberwellians hard in a desperate struggle to keep up with technology In the modern age. Passworditis. Everything these days needs a password and it’s causing stress for our grey-haired brethren who can’t even remember where they put their heart pills. “When I bought a new shaver […]

A new malady is hitting the older generation of Camberwellians hard in a desperate struggle to keep up with technology In the modern age. Passworditis.

Everything these days needs a password and it’s causing stress for our grey-haired brethren who can’t even remember where they put their heart pills.

“When I bought a new shaver I wanted the warranty and they told me I had to go on some stupid website and apply for it.  Later on the shaver broke down I had to go on the website again and it asked for my bloody password again and I couldn’t remember it!” ranted Bill an elderly statesman self-administering his calming medication.

Health Professionals are concerned that the stress of trying to remember these numbers is leading to a drastic increase in health complications. “What we’re seeing now is more extreme cases as websites demand more complex passwords. Before it was slight agitation that could be treated with valium. Now I’m getting patients coming in with inflamed carbuncles and incontinence.” said Dr Shipley who later admitted he is starting to feel horribly out of his depth.

The V.N.S ( Victoria Nanny State) is funding a statewide education program to inform the public of what to do if they encounter anyone suffering from Passworditis.

  1. Dial 000
  2. Console victim by putting arms around them and say “There, there…”   

 

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