Public disturbance in Fairholm Grove

A party quickly got out of hand in the quiet environs of Fairholm Grove and led to a call being made to the local police. Upset that they were interrupted from their nightly game of tiddly-winks and intense tea making, law enforcement nonetheless turned up and quickly made their presence known. Flashing their blue sparkly […]

A party quickly got out of hand in the quiet environs of Fairholm Grove and led to a call being made to the local police. Upset that they were interrupted from their nightly game of tiddly-winks and intense tea making, law enforcement nonetheless turned up and quickly made their presence known.

Flashing their blue sparkly lights and arriving in fitting uniforms the officers used their considerable experience in dealing with one of the most unpredictable dangerous creatures known to man: the drunken Australian.

“You never know what they are going to do next, coming into a house party situation such as this where everybody has a beer in their hand you really need to have your wits about you,” explained officer Pembury. “This was a particularly difficult intervention because when we arrived Thunderstruck by AC/DC was playing. The way a drunk Aussie can react during this song makes the football hooliganism seen during the Euro 2016 football tournament seem like a pillow fight at a pyjama party.”

Local residents are shocked that people actually wanted to have a party on their street, “ I haven’t seen anything like it since the barbeque incident of ‘86, if they want to behave like they can bugger off to Dandenong. In my day…” remarked a concerned neighbour before being wheeled off by his carer.

Unfortunately BurkeMan Camberwell’s local superhero was nowhere to be seen but left this message on The Camberwellian’s answer machine.

“Ummm….Hi there, BurkeMan here. I wasn’t in Fairholm Grove to fight crime that night cos’ I had a bit of a flu’ with all this cold weather. But I’ve got the Lemsip out now and should be right as rain in a couple of days.”  

 

You may also like

0 comments

Sign In

Reset Your Password

Email Newsletter