Aldi-Mania!

Feeling frustrated by only having two supermarkets? Citizens of Camberwell will soon have a third supermarket to choose from – Aldi. In a risky move, Aldi is banking that local citizenry will put aside their middle-class status and save money at a supermarket which is often frequented by bottom-feeders. An Aldi spokesperson explained, “We are […]

Feeling frustrated by only having two supermarkets? Citizens of Camberwell will soon have a third supermarket to choose from – Aldi.

In a risky move, Aldi is banking that local citizenry will put aside their middle-class status and save money at a supermarket which is often frequented by bottom-feeders.

An Aldi spokesperson explained, “We are a budget supermarket but the middle-class is being squeezed at the moment and the temptation of a cheaper shopping bill, even though it means a colossal drop in social status, will prove too much.”

But is it possible for people, who have spent their whole life trying to keep up with the Joneses, to cope when a friend uses their rubbish bin and asks why they are using Aldi shopping bags as bin liners?

“Obviously this is an ethical conundrum that many Camberwellians will have to search deep inside to find the answer for. Some people strive for the respect of their peers and that means being seen in Woolworths or if they really want to portray a lifestyle similar to The Real Housewives of Melbourne -The Tasmanian Grocers,” says revered anthropologist Dr. Pyne.

“Long-term residents are also afraid that Aldi will encourage undesirables into the locale and instead of driving home to their part of the city, nip into Camberwell and do a bit of shopping – completely lowering the tone of the entire area,” adds Dr. Pyne.

Drastic changes are afoot in Camberwell’s foodstuff landscape and only time will tell who comes out on top in this titanic, cut-throat, “winner take all” battle for ultimate supermarket supremacy.

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1 comments

  1. TD 9 months ago

    Bertram, I too find myself concerned with the notion of the unwashed proletariate set stinking up the delicate
    ecosystem that is Camberwell. Perhaps we could convene over a glass of brandy to discuss?

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