With Christmas fast approaching there will be an increase in the amount of activities related to the holiday season. Many of these are recognised health dangers such as binge eating, booze overload, crook neck from sleeping on relative’s couches, high blood pressure from obligatory conversations with unpleasant relatives and “credit card finger” – a repetitive strain injury caused by handing over your credit card too much.
Most of these ailments can be avoided through a common sense approach that most people have yet to acquire during the silly season, but now local residents will also have to contend with another health issue; do-good amateur warblers who insist on singing Christmas carols in public places.
Such an event took place recently in the vicinity of the Civic Centre with the result being a full-on assault of the auditory system that led to the earache of inhabitants in the surrounding area. As well as this, there was a fair amount of polite smiling and people quickly changing plans and walking in the opposite direction.
“Look for tell-tale signs such as largish groups of pensioners or children often with buckets in front of them with an over-accentuated opening of the mouths,” explained Dr. Tony Deff an ear surgeon that has followed in the footsteps of Fred Hollows and dedicated his life to helping people with damaged ear drums.
“After my latest research, I’ve found that listening to Christmas Carol singing can cause irreparable damage to hearing but also involuntary cringing and awaken traumatic memories of dry turkey and overcooked Brussel sprouts covered in lumpy gravy.”
To avoid these issues Dr. Deff’s advice is simple, “ Just the same as protecting yourself from the Sun, any Christmas Carol exposure is detrimental. They are all bad – just one line of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer can affect a child long into adulthood.”