Camberwellian man’s self-esteem crisis

Summer is here and as the mercury rises people are going to swimming pools to cool down. However, what at first seemed like a good idea has had disastrous consequences for a middle-aged native male of Camberwell as he ventured to the Hawthorn Aquatic Centre. Woefully unprepared to expose his body to the general public […]

Summer is here and as the mercury rises people are going to swimming pools to cool down. However, what at first seemed like a good idea has had disastrous consequences for a middle-aged native male of Camberwell as he ventured to the Hawthorn Aquatic Centre.

Woefully unprepared to expose his body to the general public after six months of no sunlight and an exercise regime that entailed of sedate walks to the tram stop and weekly visits to the supermarket, the man, who insists on remaining nameless, saw a multitude of body beautifuls and wanted to leave the establishment in haste.

“I can’t describe the feeling of self-loathing that swept over me, especially when a perfectly formed adonis type walked along the side of the pool in his speedos and then sat next to his gorgeous girlfriend. A split second later I happened to turn and I saw a full-length reflection of myself in the mirror.”

Despite the painful reality of how his body compares to others, the man realises that he only has himself to blame, “Society is constantly reminding me that I need to be more attractive, but I flew in face of those warnings and let myself go.”

Indeed, in Camberwell there are numerous pilates studios, a spinning studio, the 24/7 gym (and that other one in The Well ) and even places that give consultations for plastic surgery. There are absolutely no excuses for having a normal body with all the facilities available for physical perfection. Thankfully, the disgusting individual has vowed to never take off his shirt in public again.   

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