Overeating, overspending and lack of exercise has left many of the residents of Camberwell with a feeling of guilt and shame, as they look at their exploding waistlines brought on by eating copious amounts of whatever food came to hand and drinking themselves into a stupor with horrifying regularity.
The bloat has also affected the writers at The Camberwellian with many of them unwilling to write articles and preferring to watch terrible holiday movies such as Bad Santa and The Grinch. Word counts in articles which before on average were hitting around the 250 mark are now struggling to reach 50 words.
There is a risk that “Holiday Bloat” could carry over to the new year with many employees unwilling to join the workforce once more and do their bit to help the economy. This is scaring bosses not just in Camberwell but also around the world, with the shocking realisation that most people would rather be sitting on their asses doing nothing than working for them. Whatsmore the medical fraternity have noticed an increase in a new condition – “Netflixitis” – which literally sucks your will to live and do anything of worth to society.
On the other hand, banks are rubbing their hands with glee as the credit cards used by the general populous soon have to be paid back – with interest – leading to massive profits in about three months time. This fantastic ruse works every year despite everyone knowing about it.